Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
