Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
