I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
if only i could text you this smell
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
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