Yo dont text me then not text me
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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