belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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