i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
