Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
