i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Randomize
