I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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