Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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