what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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