You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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