Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Who died my cat blue again?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
