i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
