i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
