Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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