If i come over, it means nothing
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
