i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
