another moral hangover. fuck.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
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