goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
