you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize