i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
