It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
