Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
