Don't you send me to vm
Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
