Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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