he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
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