I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
