all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
