He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
The air was thick with penises
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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