I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i just google imaged poop.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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