I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
