I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize