She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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