Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
