i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize