If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
