I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
