come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just want to make out with him forever
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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