The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize