I only kidnapped one of them. chill
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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