his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
