I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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