I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize