My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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