The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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