oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
