we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
