i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
