Don't you send me to vm
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
