this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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