This girl is more easily done than said...
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
