I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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