i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
