Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize