big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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