i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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