just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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