do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Randomize
