his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
