god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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