that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
