Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
