Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
